Tommy Karr

Category: Stories

  • Ten Things the Internet Could Have Helped Me Avoid in the 1980s

    1.  I would not have sung the wrong lyrics to “Oh, Sherrie” like an idiot. 2.  I would not have given up on that pen-pal program to a kid in France… to whom I never wrote a second letter because I lost his physical mailing address.  Sorry French kid. 3.  I would not have had…

  • Tennessee Homecoming… and the Thing on the Wall

    I went home to visit family a few weeks ago and to help get the house in order, in the hope that we can sell it sometime in the next year or so.  The trip was good… if not exhausting.  But the house is looking great and just needs a little T.L.C. to get it…

  • Tuba-Ruba (or How I Got Cake)

    Tuba-Ruba may have been one of my favorite games… for about four hours. And then I transformed it into a room-to-room communication device. See, Tuba-Ruba came out in 1987, just as I turned 12 and I was at that age where a) I didn’t particularly want to be tangled up with a girl and b)…

  • The Captains (Part 1)

    This is just a sneak peek at the hilarity that Quincy and I had at last nights screening of William Shatner’s “The Captains” on the deck of the Intrepid. Full details on the ridiculousness to come shortly.

  • The Thing Under the Bed

    At sometime after 3:00am this morning I woke up drenched in a frigid dread.  Something was wrong.  What was it? I sat up, tried to adjust me eyes to the darkness but realized it wasn’t my eyes that were upset.  It was my ears. Somewhere near me a faint tap-tap-tap was rapping.  I sat perfectly…

  • Why I Will Never Use the Basement Laundry Again

      Tonight was going to be just any other night, coming home, doing the laundry, going to bed.  So far, so good. I had just finished washing my clothes and had one load in a dryer, waiting on one of the other three to become available.  Another tenant arrived and removed his clothes with 18…

  • Subway Moments: The Mumbly Guy and the Zombie Apocalypse

    My commute this morning was longer than the usual 25 minute ride due to some malfunction between 72nd and 59th Streets. So for 20 minutes we sat there waiting in the darkened tunnel for something, anything, to happen. Most of this time I spent reading Kathy Griffin’s book but part of my mind was paying…

  • A Little Tree Goes a Long Way

    I was pretty bummed at not having a Christmas tree this year.  It is such an iconic piece of the holidays and yet, because of time, money, moving, etc., I just decided this year… no tree. I accept that not having a tree is a failure on my part to get into the spirit but…

  • Ghosts of Drag Queens Past and Present

    Back in college I was doing a production of La Cage aux Folles and had not yet seen a real drag show. My mother had. But not me. In fact, when I got the word that I was cast in La Cage I called my mom and squeeled, “I’m in the show!” “Oh yay! Which…

  • Dawn of the Disaster… and then some

    Let’s cut to the chase… today sucked. For the first time in weeks I got up early to get back into my old routine of going to the gym before work.  I have been feeling better and thought I could finally get through an hour and a half of fitness to prep for the rest…