The debacle began when NYC went from frigid temps to “cooking an egg on the sidewalk” overnight. My room was a large set of windows along one wall and, while that allows for access to the air outside it doesn’t mean that said exterior air is any more soothing than the stifling atmosphere of my room.
So I did my homework and found a ceiling fan that would fit in the room, create enough draft to keep me cool AND had a remote control (essential for when you wake up at 3am and realize you are frozen and need to shut the thing off). It took a week for delivery but I didn’t mind… until the day of delivery when I left work a touch early to make sure I wouldn’t miss the UPS man, only to have the UPS man arrive after 7:30pm which meant that I didn’t need to miss work at all. Grrr.
But I excitedly opened the package and began to sort through, making sure that each piece was there and then laying it out according to the schematics so that I could begin assembly immediately.
The funny thing about ceiling fans… you have to kill the power to the room in which they are being installed. This means no light of course. This also means that, after killing the power from the fuse box in the kitchen and rushing back to my room, the sun had set (within seconds) and I was standing in darkness.
No problem, right?! Here’s the problem… I get a little excited and maybe a tad overambitious about some projects. Plus I was going to do this NOW. I had installed one before, years ago, and remembered the feeling of success when the job was complete. I didn’t, however, remember the frustration that exuded from every pore during that previous installation.
So, with my ambition and adrenaline pumping I grabbed my phone and a candle and set to work. With the fan and its multitude of parts set aside I climbed on the bed and unscrewed the dome on the resident light fixture. This had to go. Not only was it too bright but it had no cooling effect… ergo the fan. But tragedy struck when, after the dome came down, the rest would not budge. What the hell? Shouldn’t this just pop off? Yes, in the best of worlds the entire unit would pop free and I could begin to disconnect the wires and proceed with total fannage (I’m coining that term now).
The fixture was stuck… fused to the ceiling from years of paint. And with the candle barely adding a shimmer to the surrounding and the phone too hard to hold, I gave up for the night.
This battle would continue another day.
To be continued…
Tommy Karr 